A Long Walk Off a Short Pier

I have had a series of interesting and yet, disturbing dreams lately. The most interesting one came the other night where I was attempting to become a public speaker about relationships. The unique "hook" I had come up with was a basic analogy.

Our relationships are like bags of potato chips. 

Are you done laughing? Don't worry... I'll wait. 

Ok. 

So the point of the excercise was that I would begin speaking about relationships, the stages of beginning - the fluidity of maturing the connection - and either the contentment or obversly, the ending of a relationship. Now, you're still asking why potato chip bags. 

Once you find the right potato chip bag you have to open it - like beginning a relationship. Sometimes the bag is difficult to open and you mess it up spilling chips all over, sometimes it opens easily and you start with fresh, chips.

But sometimes you eat too many - too quickly and you're left with the crumbs. Other times you forget about the chips and they become stale. Many times you're looking for the right dip.

Then the dream became rather too capitalistic for me. It was surprising. I had negotiated a deal with Frito-Lay that I would be sponsored by Ruffles chips as long as they had exclusive rights to market and I would only use Ruffles brand in my lectures. I even went the Oprah route and everyone leaving the speaking engagement would get a bag of chips.

Of course, telling this all to my true friend and main relationship, brought guffaws of laughter. She even came up with all sorts of tie-ins to the catchphrases of chips. Relationships have Ridges - You Can't Eat Just One. Leave it to my wife to give it that extra amount of innuendo. 

I won't EVEN go into the greasy fingers. 

Perhaps I should go to bed earlier and get better sleep.