Middle Class Angst

The last thing I want to be is a whiner.

I want to be a problem solver. A solution finder. The hero in the storm of chaos. Entropy and time are my enemies. Lack of vast quantities of liquid assets is also an issue. We're doing fine, but you got to believe that if I didn't have to travel 25 miles away every day to get yelled at by people wanting to put up a 1,200 sqft metal building behind their trailer house - I certainly wouldn't.

I had a great time with Alexander yesterday evening. We went out about 7pm to go to Wal-Mart to find the little plastic stakes to put our Christmas lights outlining our front yard. I spent a little too much time driving around and he went to bed about 30 minutes later than he should. My time with him is so limited - the other half of the problem is that on weekends when I should have more time with him, I'm usually spending it attempting to get all of the things that I didn't accomplish during the week done. Most of my time is spent cleaning the house or trying to work on a project for the house.

Why is it that I've achieved what I wanted as a kid - pretty, funny and intelligent partner; heathly, intelligent and good looking kids; a house that I am exceedingly pround of - and I feel like I've lost my way.

I've been praying a lot about why I have such self-doubt in the face of relatively good success. I'm not as creative as I want to be. But I'm not sure that I'm achieving the level of success that people expect of me.
But then, there's the part of me that is ready to divest all and move to New Zealand. So, what ya gonna do? Move on and love my kids and work harder at being happy.

Happy Halloween - and Happy Birthday Alexander

We had a great Halloween. I got home early from work. Meredith cooked a nice dinner and we dressed the guys as Batman and Robin. (photos to follow). My parents came over about 6pm and Aunt LaLa over shortly after that. 6:30 rolled around and many kids were starting out into the street.

Our neighborhood has lots of kids, so many of the houses are either decorated for Halloween or have their front porches lit up for the occasion. Even further, many of the neighbors find it an enjoyable experience (even those without children of trick-or-treat age to get out their portable chairs, get a glass or bottle of frosty adult beverages and a bowl of candy and wave at the passing throng.

Meredith and my father spent much of the evening out front of the house, while Laura, Alexander, Ford and I went out for treats. My mother had a class she had to get to. Ford really enjoyed the trick-or-treating process from upon his perch in the frame backpack on the back of Daddy. He paid special attention to his fellow caped-crusader as he bounded up each walk to the front door only to be rewarded with candy.

Alexander was very pleasant as he had his line down:

"Trick or treat!"

and after his reward, came a gracious "Thank you" with only a little prompting from Daddy. At one house in particular, the lady stated that Alexander had terrific manners and told him to have a great time. Alexander responded with:

"All right, I WILL. IT'S HALLOWEEN!"

We met all sorts of costumed characters along the way. The most memorable for me was three middle-school aged boys dressed up as middle-school aged cheerleaders. That was gutsy and impressive.

The best trick-or-treater of the evening was a little boy younger that Alex who was so impressed with Alex's Batman costume that he had to comment about it all the way up and back the walkway. Alexander made his evening by calling to him as he left...

"See you later, Buzz Lightyear!"

The weather cooperated in that it wasn't excessively hot or cold with just a little wind. The fire department showed up in the neighorohood with two firefighters handing out glowsticks to all the kids.

After the treats were finished. Alexander helped sort out the candy that wasn't good for his "Superman" teeth (those which were excessively sticky) and kept mostly the chocolate ones.

It was a truly a happy halloween.

Then following the 31st is Alexander's 4th birthday. He arrived from school wearing a red construction paper crown exclaiming the fact. We ended up going to Double Dave's pizza for dinner as Alexander's special treat.

His birthday party will be on Saturday. The theme: Transformers.

Alexander. More than meets the eye.